May 2001 A controversy that will define the future of the American Jewish community–how to respond to intermarriage–is again erupting. A new American Jewish Committee survey of interfaith families is being used to support an old, failed strategy–discouraging intermarriage and pressing for conversion of non-Jewish spouses. That is exactly the wrong way to maximize the
Let’s Not Promote In-marriage Without Promoting Outreach to the Intermarried
An Intermarried Perspective on The Jew Within by Steven M. Cohen and Arnold M. Eisen
January 2001 In spite of the evident hostility of Steven M. Cohen and Arnold M. Eisen toward intermarriage, their important new book, The Jew Within: Self, Family and Community in America (Indiana University Press) provides a rationale and a roadmap for encouraging more Jewish involvement in interfaith families. The same factors the authors identify as
Let’s Make the Language of Jewish Prayer Inclusive
November 2000 Something happened at Rosh Hashanah morning services this year that threw me for quite a loss. My least favorite prayer—more accurately, my least favorite translation of a prayer—was read. It was one of the birchot ha’shachar, morning blessings, whose Hebrew ending, “she’asani yisrael,” is translated in our Reform prayerbook so that the prayer,
The High Holy Days Through Interfaith Eyes: A Time the “Strangers in Your Camp” Are Included
My Irish Vacation
July 2000 I’ve been an intermarried Jew for twenty-five years. When my wife Wendy was a junior in college, younger than our daughter is now, she spent the summer traveling in Europe, including a visit with her mother’s first cousin, Rhona Williams, in County Tipperary, Ireland. One of our favorite pictures is of Wendy (in
Why Non-Jewish Spouses Sometimes Think That Jews Are Weird
June 2000 My non-Jewish wife of twenty-five years, the co-chair of the synagogue Social Action committee, regular Shabbat, Sabbath, service-goer, after a recent discussion with me announced that “Jews are weird.” She had good reason to say so. Wendy was looking for a speaker for the Social Action Shabbat, and someone had suggested a Christian clergy
Love Can Trump Tradition: Interfaith Relationships in Keeping the Faith
May 2000 I really enjoyed the new movie, Keeping the Faith. In it, two best friends from childhood, a priest–played by Ed Norton (who also directed the film), and a rabbi–played by Ben Stiller, fall for Anna–played by Jenna Elfman–also a childhood friend who is now a high-powered business executive. As the story develops, amidst
We Need a Religious Movement That Is Totally Inclusive of Intermarried Jewish Families
March 2000 An important phenomenon is happening among intermarried Jewish parents. They increasingly define the religious identity of their family as Jewish. Yet the religious movements in the American Jewish community are failing to respond in an encouraging way to these families. Instead, they insist on promoting conversion and on maintaining boundaries and barriers to the
How to Talk to Your Kids about Interfaith Dating: For Those Married to Jews or in Interfaith Marriages
February 2000 There’s a book written by a leading Conservative Rabbi, Alan Silverstein, titled It All Begins With A Date: Jewish Concerns About Intermarriage. The goal of the book, as I understood it, is to promote an approach to preventing intermarriage. I don’t think that intermarriage can be prevented, and I think that trying to